Random Yak | Scrooge and Santa Merge: The Perfect Scam (Advent -9, CR 23)

Random Yak | Scrooge and Santa Merge: The Perfect Scam (Advent -9, CR 23): "Spurious Christmas Advent Money Suckers,' SCAMS.dys.org, announced that an internal audit released today under the title 'With Charity for All, Plus Big Bucks for Us,' shows that 100% of the donations to SCAMS went to provide jobs for the unemployed, with 90% left over so that the Founder of SCAMS can drive his luxury car in good conscience. When asked by Diogenes, field reporter for the Random Yak, how SCAMS could have its cake and eat it too, the SCAMS leader, who calls himself Scrooge as befits the season, stated simply, 'I�m a financial genius! I�m not telling my secret, but I will say this, I believe in Santa Claus.'
The Yak has learned that what Scrooge does is to hire unemployed men, train them to solicit ('sucker spotting' is the industry term, in honor of P.T. Barnum), issue them Santa Claus uniforms and place them at retail stores and shopping centers. Now they are 'employed,' so that 100% of the donations they collect have gone toward jobs for the previously unemployed, and their 'salary' is a commission of 10% of the take, leaving 90% for Scrooge. The merger of Scrooge and Santa with a touch of humbug has paid off well. It cannot be denied that SCAMS is a charity with a heart of gold.
But this may not be the perfect charity scam. The Yak has uncovered a secret report in which Scrooge opines that, 'We have a problem that 5-7% of our take is siphoned off by kindhearted Christmas shoppers giving to the actual needy and homeless. We have offered these people SCAMS Santa jobs, but they are too honest for good work.' "